


where we belong is side by side

by ragtimedarling



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 20:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2441174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragtimedarling/pseuds/ragtimedarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I would never wish for anyone who wants to escape to remain there," she said. "It’s hell.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	where we belong is side by side

"If you want an image of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever."

\- George Orwell's _1984_           

 

- 

 

"Tatsuki, wake up!"

 

Tatsuki immediately sat up, fumbling for the gun near his bed. "What's wrong? Is there an attack?"

 

Daisuke laughed. "No, you must come see the stars! You can see them tonight!"

 

"What? You were outside?!" Tatsuki hissed, trying to keep his voice down. "At night?!"

 

Daisuke made no attempt to lower his voice, and responded, "God, Tatsuki, we can't stay cooped up in here every day. Sometimes, we have to get out there and see the world!"

 

"See the world? What the—are you drunk?"

 

Daisuke smiled. "Only a little. Now come see the stars, come on!"

 

Tatsuki tried to ignore Daisuke to no avail. After a few more minutes of "Come _on_ , Tatsuki", he grudgingly threw on shoes and a t-shirt. He made sure to grab his gun, as he never left his room—a small, underground tunnel with only a curtain to give him privacy—without it.

 

The two men peered around the corner, keeping an eye out for any other people. There were always guards on patrol, but because the tunnel system was so vast, it was very unlikely they would run into any until they reached the door to the outside.

 

However, a quickly moving shadow caused Tatsuki to jump. “Dai, we have to go back to bed. Someone’s watching us,” he whispered . “We’re going to get in so much trouble.”

 

Daisuke brushed him off. “We’re not going to get in trouble, and there’s nobody around, I promise. How do you think I got to the liquor?”

 

Tatsuki rolled his eyes. He wasn’t so convinced they weren’t going to get into trouble. The tunnels were highly secure, as they were the only place where they could live freely away from the Cinquanta regime— with some restrictions, of course. One of which was _do not go outside without permission_.

 

The tunnels took a while to navigate, but eventually, they reached the latched door that led outside. Tatsuki thanked his lucky stars that Max Aaron, the head of the guards, had the night off from guarding the door. Instead, Nobunari Oda slept soundly in his place.

 

“That’s probably not safe, you know. Cinquanta could totally come down here and we would never know,” Daisuke whispered loudly. Tatsuki smacked him on the arm to quiet him.

 

"If you get us killed, I'm blaming you," Tatsuki muttered to Daisuke, who waved him off.He opened the latched door and exited into the outside world.

 

"If I get us killed, I promise you this is worth it," Daisuke replied, wrapping his arm around Tatsuki's waist. "Look at this!"

 

He threw his free hand up at the sky, which was littered with stars. They shimmered brightly, as Tatsuki took in the sights. The pollution usually blocked any stars from shining through, but he could see thousands of them. He hadn't seen stars like these in years. It had been so long that he hardly remembered it. "Incredible," Tatsuki breathed.

 

"I told you," Daisuke whispered in response. "This is worth breaking the rules for, isn't it?"

 

For once, Tatsuki was in agreement. "This is beautiful. Thank you, Daisuke."

 

Tatsuki felt Daisuke lightly touch his cheek, as he leaned in for a kiss underneath the light of the stars.

 

- 

 

"Machida!"

 

_Oh, crap_ , thought Tatsuki. "Yes?"

 

"The General would like to see you," barked Max, who must have found out about the adventures of the night before.

 

General Ashley Wagner was the recently appointed leader of their cause, which was to stay alive while hiding from the Cinquanta Regime. They were part of the rebellion, and lived underground in tunnel-like structures to avoid being seen.

 

_Hopefully I'm not in trouble_ , Tatsuki thought as he made his way through the underground society. He went as fast as he could to the General's quarters, but he could see many people going about their day in the tunnels off to the side of the main tunnel. Jason Brown was running around with the children as Josh Farris looked on in bemusement. On the other side, Tatsuki could see Javier Fernandez flirting with a girl, and he had to suppress a chuckle when the girl flitted away like a hummingbird. “Good morning Javier!” Tatsuki called to him, and got a glare in response.

 

“I wouldn’t talk seeing as you’re about to get in trouble,” Javier replied, then smiled good-naturedly. “Good morning Tatsuki.”

 

The General’s office was in the heart of the tunnels, so she could be connected to everything that was going on. If something went wrong, she would be able to know about it almost immediately, as information traveled quickly. Tatsuki suspected that most, if not all, of the people knew about how he and Daisuke snuck out.

 

When he arrived, the General was meeting with her second-in-command, Adam Rippon. Tatsuki cleared his throat. "Can I come in?"

 

The General glanced up at him. "Yes. Adam, please excuse us."

 

Adam nodded, brushing past Tatsuki on his way out. Tatsuki quickly glanced at the plans laid out on the table in from of him, which involved a map with several red dots placed on it. Tatsuki wondered what they were for—a raid, perhaps?—but the General quickly put them away, and asked Tatsuki to sit.

 

"So, I heard something from a certain... source," the General began. "I'm aware that you and Daisuke Takahashi went outside last night unauthorized?"

 

Tatsuki fumbled his words before settling on a resigned "Yes".

 

The General sighed. "You absolutely cannot do that," she glared. Although she was physically not very tall, she could be very intimidating if she wanted to be.

 

"I know," Tatsuki mumbled, staring at the floor. "I had my gun with me."

 

The General frowned. "Look, it's been hard for all of us ever since we lost Yuna and Patrick," referencing the previous leader and her second-in-command, who had perished in a failed raid on a government building a month ago. According to the one member of the raid who had been just outside the room when they were killed, Yuna and Patrick were offered their lives if they revealed the location of their compound. They didn't.

 

There had been some rumors that there was a spy on that fatal raid, but Tatsuki wasn’t so sure. _Surely, since information travels so quickly through the tunnels, there couldn’t be?_ He thought.

 

"But you endangered the lives of everyone living here," the General said sternly, bringing Tatsuki back to reality. "If you had somehow been caught, they would have been able to get into the compound and kill all of us."

 

"We just... wanted to see the stars."

 

The General paused, caught off guard. "You saw the stars?" she asked.

 

"Yes. The pollution was gone last night, and we were able to see them clearly.”

 

The General smiled faintly. "I haven't seen the stars in years."

 

"How much trouble am I in?" Tatsuki finally asked nervously. "You can expel me from the compound, I'd understand if you did that."

 

The General shook her head. "I thought you were smart. No, you're not in trouble, but if you step out of line again, you will be."

 

Tatsuki nodded profusely. "I understand."

 

"You may leave now. Oh, and Tatsuki?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Please ask Daisuke to stay out of the liquor. He know those are for the sick," she warned.

 

"Yes, I will."

 

The stars caused a wheel to turn in Tatsuki's memories, and as soon as he left the General's quarters, he went to look for the one person who could tell a story like no other.

 

-

 

Tatsuki went to the dining area, a larger room where the inhabitants enjoyed, or at least tried to, their daily food of rice and beans. On special occasions, such as when a raid came back successfully or on holidays, they would have a much wider variety of food options, but this was rare.

 

He looked around the mostly empty dining area until he found the person he was looking for. "Miss Kostner?"

 

An older, though not yet considered "ancient", looked in his direction. "Oh, hello, Tatsuki."

 

He gave her a friendly hug, then sat down facing her. "Miss Kostner, I have a request."

 

"You always do," she replied in bemusement.

 

"Can you tell me about the days before the war?" Tatsuki asked.

 

Miss Kostner sighed. "Don't you ever get sick of hearing about it?"

 

Tatsuki thought about it. He probably ought to be sick of hearing it, but he didn't really have any memory of before the war, since it happened when he was very young. His life had been nothing but the war, as far as he was concerned. His most vivid memory was having a dog, trying in vain to save him when his parents grabbed Tatsuki while their neighborhood was on fire and their house was being destroyed...

 

"No, I don't think I'll ever get sick of it." Tatsuki eventually decided. "Of course, if you're sick of it—"

 

"No, no. I'll tell it again, just for you," she replied with a shine in her eye.

 

"It was almost twenty years ago that the war started. The pollution was pretty bad, but not as bad as now." Miss Kostner began. "But the world was free. Everyone had their own houses and cars, and it was always gorgeous. We lived in the capital, and we could do things like eat candy whenever we wanted, but that was discouraged, because nobody wanted cavities," she laughed. "We had flowers in such bright colors. Blue, purple, orange...

 

"We had thunderstorms, too. We couldn't be outside during them, because the rain was acidic, but we could always watch the lightning and listen to the thunder. I always loved it, but my son was deathly, deathly afraid of thunderstorms, so we stayed underneath the covers until the rain passed."

 

Tatsuki nodded, thinking about the thunderstorms that passed by in desert they lived underneath. They were rare, but the thunder could shake the ground and its inhabitants on those days.

 

"We had such beauty in this world before the war," Miss Kostner stated as her eyes grew misty. It was clear that she was no longer reminiscing for Tatsuki, but for herself. "It was a few months after Cinquanta was elected. Nobody suspected that he would try to take control the way he did.

 

"But he quickly did, and the scariest part was that he did it without anyone noticing. Suddenly, he controlled everything. You never felt safe, or had any privacy in your own house. Sometimes, I would notice a camera hidden in my living room and remove it, only to find it back where it was a week later. I have no idea how they did this without anyone noticing. My husband never felt safe at work; there were cameras everywhere and anyone could have been a spy, reporting on him.

 

"Obviously, this didn't sit well with many people. One afternoon, there were riots in the streets of the capital, all rebelling against Cinquanta. My husband and I were part of these riots while my son was at school, because we were sick of being treated like we were less than nothing. But Cinquanta must have been prepared," she said, gritting her teeth in rage. "He brought out thousands of soldiers, and they killed almost everyone in sight."

 

Miss Kostner sighed, tears welling in her eyes. "They killed my husband. And when I was finally able to escape and get to my house to see if my son would be there, his body was at my doorstep.”

 

Tatsuki looked up in shock. He had known Miss Kostner had lost her husband and her son, but she had never detailed the amount of violence and brutality. To see your own child's lifeless body, immediately after witnessing your husband's death...

 

"I gathered everything I could, and escaped from the capital. I ran as far as I could, until I found a group of rebels out in the desert." She wiped away her tears as she continued the story. "They were led by Mao Asada, who became our first general. We worked for months to build this underground hideaway, hiding underneath the sand whenever a government helicopter flew by. They saw us, but they probably thought we would die out in the desert. And some did.

 

"We eventually dug far enough into the ground for the rest of us to live underground. From there, we built tunnels that eventually connected into rooms. It was hard, hard work, but after a few years, we managed to build an entire underground society.”

 

“We had survived on food stolen from raids during those years, trips that took days to complete. We were inexperienced, but we were never caught, thankfully. I went on one of the raids, and all we did was blend into society. We would mostly go to large, public gatherings and take as much food and water as we could. Once we built the underground tunnels and became organized, we planned larger and more sophisticated raids, but it came with the greater price of being caught. However, they never knew where to find us.

 

“Occasionally, on raids, we would find people dying to escape Cinquanta’s dictatorship. That’s where I met my second love, Stephane,” Miss Kostner smiled faintly. “He came back with us after a raid on a weapons armory. He had worked there, and we had thought we were all dead when he found us! But he gathered up as many weapons as he could, left a hastily written suicide note, and helped us get back to the base.”

 

Tatsuki had heard this story many times, and usually he was content with waiting until Miss Kostner decided she had told enough. However, the reveal of the violence made him curious, and so he interrupted her story.

 

“What happened to the people who came back to the base who were spies for Cinquanta?” Tatsuki asked. “There were bound to be some, weren’t there?”

 

Miss Kostner seemed surprised at the interruption and blinked. “Well, when they were found out, they were killed. It was easier to figure out who was a mole when there were fewer people. But with the larger numbers now, it’s likely there are spies among us.” She paused for a moment, and then pulled Tatsuki closer to whisper in his ear. “They believe there was a spy in the raid that killed Yuna and Patrick.”

 

Tatsuki’s eyes widened. He had considered spies to be a possibility, sure, but never a certainty. Miss Kostner always had some inside information that nobody else did, so he was sure it was true. “Why don’t we stop letting people in then? Why do we allow spies to come into our only safe place?”  


Miss Kostner could only give him a sad gaze. “I would never wish for anyone who wants to escape to remain there. It’s hell.”

 

-

 

Tatsuki was still in shock when he walked away from his conversation with Miss Kostner. All he could think about who the spies could possibly be. The names of people that he could remember being on that particular raid ran through his head. The Shibs had stayed behind, but Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir had gone, but he could not remember for the life of him if Jeremy had gone or not…

 

He snapped back to reality upon seeing Daisuke running towards him. “Did you enjoy last night?” he asked upon reaching Tatsuki.

 

“If someone had heard that, they’d probably think we were having sex all the time,” Tatsuki muttered under his breath, thinking Daisuke hadn’t heard him.

 

“You and I both know you would’ve enjoyed that,” Daisuke replied, rolling his eyes. “I was looking for you to tell you, we’ve both been chosen for a raid.”

 

The dread Tatsuki was feeling must have translated to his face, as Daisuke immediately grabbed his hand and took him to a small, secluded tunnel. As far as they knew, they were the only ones who knew about it, and they used it to be alone together when either of them wanted privacy.

 

“What’s wrong?” Daisuke asked, once they were secure and Tatsuki had made sure nobody was around.

 

“There’s a spy here. I don’t know who, but Miss Kostner thinks there was one on the raid Yuna and Patrick were killed on,” Tatsuki whispered rapidly. “And I do not want you to get killed on this raid, or anyone else for that matter.”

 

Daisuke held a straight face, though Tatsuki could tell he was concerned. “Do you remember who was on the raid?”

 

“I’ve only got a few names down,” Tatsuki replied, pulling out scrap paper with names written messily on it. “Josh Farris, Elena Ilinykh, Ruslan Zhiganshin, Jason Brown, and Kanako Murakami. And let’s face it, it’s definitely not Jason.”

 

“Did you remember Tessa and Scott?” Daisuke said, grabbing the paper to see. “Although they were really close with Patrick, I don’t think either of them would have betrayed him like that.”

 

“I’ll add that to the list,” he replied. “Are any of them on the raid with us?”

 

“Josh, Kanako, and I think maybe Ruslan and Elena,” Daisuke stated. “Not sure. There’s still a bunch of names we haven’t said, though. Maybe we should talk to the General?”

 

Tatsuki frowned. “She seemed really stressed out earlier. Which, by the way, she said not to get into the liquor anymore.”

 

“She knew about that? I was so sure I was being quiet,” Daisuke said with a mischievous smirk. “General Wagner hasn’t been out of her office in days, how were you talking to her?”  


“Well, I got in trouble for the little stunt you pulled with the stars last night,” said Tatsuki, pretending to be angry, then smiling. “Let’s just try not to get into trouble for a few days, okay?”

 

“Oh, come on, Tatsuki. You know you loved it,” Daisuke laughed, then leaned in to kiss Tatsuki tenderly. He pulled away, shaking his head slightly.

 

“God, what if something _happens_ , Daisuke? What if one of us actually…”

 

Daisuke shook his head firmly. “No. One day, we’re gonna be free from this nightmare, and we’ll grow old together, living out where we can see the stars every single night,” he said. He began to kiss Tatsuki again, running his hands over his body. “I love you, and I’m not going to let anything happen to either of us. I promise.”

 

Tatsuki could only manage to say “I love you” back, as Daisuke continuously kissed him, as if trying to reassure him that things would be okay. Yet the thought of _What if?_ lingered in his mind, and he clung to Daisuke tighter.

 

-

 

The weeks leading up to the raid seemed to pass by in a millisecond, as Tatsuki searched to find whom the traitor was. Every day during his free time he would try to get information, but always came up no further than where he started.

 

Daisuke would ask him daily if he learned anything new about the spy, and although Tatsuki knew he was trying very hard to hide it, was always disappointed when Tatsuki shook his head. One night, while spending the night in Daisuke’s room, Tatsuki woke up and saw Daisuke sitting with his head in his hands. Tatsuki quickly pretended to be asleep, but felt his heart being torn out of his chest.

 

Tatsuki felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do, and he was out of time.

 

-

 

The raid set out on its journey through the desert to civilization. It would, Tatsuki knew, take a long time. They were as far away as one could be, and it took up to days to even get anywhere useful. They were going to a suburb for this particular raid, where they would try to gather as many supplies as possible. As they could not travel during the day, the group only traveled at night to avoid being seen. The days were spent hidden near specified checkpoints, scouted out in advance.

 

Adam Rippon was leading the group, and helped to entertain them during the long trip along with Charlie White and Alex Shibutani. Polina Edmunds was on her first raid, while Evgeni Plushenko was likely on his last. (Then again, Tatsuki had said this before.) Yuzuru Hanyu and Michael Christian Martinez stuck together, as did Tessa and Scott. Josh and Kanako seemed especially nervous, while Elena and Ruslan were not, which Tatsuki took notice of.

 

The trip to the suburb was going along just the same as any normal raid. When the group got closer to the suburbs, Adam passed out clothes to blend in with the citizens. The final preparations and plans were made once they were on the outskirts of civilization. Tatsuki and Daisuke were to raid any stores they thought would be suitable and easy to get to. As they both had been on many raids, they were trusted to have good judgment.

 

As they were wrapping up their final meeting before entering the suburb, Daisuke grabbed Tatsuki’s sleeve. “Look.”

 

In the distance was a man, dressed in combat uniform, talking into a walkie-talkie.

 

“Shit. Shit shit _shit_ ,” Tatsuki breathed. “The spy.”

 

Daisuke’s eyes widened. “No. You don’t think—”

 

“We don’t have time,” Tatsuki cut him off. As discreetly as possible, he made his way from the back of the group over to Adam, who was at the front of the group, grabbing onto the gun in his belt as he did so.

 

He was too late.

 

People in the same uniforms, all pointing guns, suddenly surrounded the group. They were trapped. Tatsuki pulled out his gun, but he could only watch as Adam was shot in the head.

 

Tatsuki held back a scream. He couldn’t believe what was happening, as his fears became realized. He felt like someone had pressed a button and suddenly he was moving in slow-motion, as he pulled out his gun and started shooting at anyone he could find in combat fatigues. His heart rate was faster than hhought possible, and he was running on pure adrenaline.

 

He saw Polina struggling against three soldiers, and ran over to help out, shooting down one of them in the meanwhile. She nodded her head in thanks once they took down the other two, and ran off to hide. He couldn’t blame her, she was only 15...  


 

 

The group was badly outnumbered, and while they fought the best that they could, it wasn’t enough. Yuzuru cried out in pain as Michael was shot, and Evgeni gave his life to protect a trembling Josh.

 

Daisuke ran over to Tatsuki. “We have to get out of here!”

 

“How? How can we get out?!” Tatsuki yelled in despair.

 

Daisuke opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly collapsed in front of Tatsuki’s eyes.

 

Tatsuki stood, stunned. He looked at down at Daisuke, who was bleeding heavily. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, but Daisuke did not move. He had been shot, he had been killed, his entire life wiped away.

 

He fell to his knees, numb. Memories of Daisuke flashed through his head, faster, faster. He could see Daisuke laughing at another joke he thought was funny, he could see Daisuke crying out in anger, he could see Daisuke drunkenly kissing him under the stars.

 

Tatsuki looked at the body in front of him, once full of life and laughter and tears and anger. And now, the body that used to be Daisuke was nothing.

 

Tears blurred his eyes. He grabbed Daisuke’s body and clung to it tighter.

 

He couldn’t focus on anything else but Daisuke, _his_ Daisuke, even as the battle waged around him. He could barely feel Charlie grab his arm and take him away, and he saw Elena conversing with the enemy out of the corner of his eye. He could vaguely hear Ruslan screaming at her, _You traitor!…_

 

_-_

 

The tattered remains of the group escaped, but not unbroken. Most of them were injured, and it wasn’t until they had gotten away from the battle that Tatsuki could feel the pain in his broken right arm. Polina was shell-shocked, and Michael was gravely wounded as Yuzuru stood by him anxiously.

 

It was selfish, Tatsuki knew, but all he could think about was Daisuke being gone. He refused to eat, only moving when forced to by the others, as the broken rebels made their way back to their safe haven.

 

One evening, almost three days after the battle, as they traveled, Tatsuki thinking over every minute detail of every memory of Daisuke, he stopped walking. “He promised…” he whispered as he crumpled to the ground.

 

Charlie noticed this, and ushered the rest of the group forward as he went back to Tatsuki. “I know you don’t want to keep walking, but you have to,” he said softly.

 

“He promised nothing bad would happen, he promised we’d grow old together, he promised we’d be free from this nightmare and we’d be able to see the stars every night,” he said slowly. “How could this happen?! Why?!”

 

Charlie looked at the ground. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I know that doesn’t make it better. It was hard when I lost Tanith a couple of years ago.”

 

Tatsuki looked up at the starless night. “How did you get through it?”

 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be over her,” Charlie said. “But you have to live. You would want him to continue to live if you were gone, and he would want the same.”

 

-

 

They reached the underground shelter, and Tatsuki tried his best to follow Charlie’s advice and live, but it was difficult. A wake was held for the people killed the next day, but Tatsuki spent that time lying in Daisuke’s old room, on his old bed. He wanted to live for Daisuke, but he simply couldn’t.

 

Tatsuki replayed Daisuke’s voice in his head, his last words, his “I love you”s, even his everyday conversations. He buried himself underneath Daisuke’s covers, sobbing. Daisuke was his rock, how could he live for him when Daisuke was what was worth living for?

 

_“Daisuke!”_

_16-year-old Tatsuki Machida ran to catch up with the older boy. They were best friends for years, inseparable. “Wait up!” he called out._

_“Afraid I’m gonna leave you behind?” Daisuke smiled teasingly. “I’m just going on a raid, it’s no big deal.”_

_“You still have to prepare! You have to careful!” Tatsuki replied seriously. “I don’t want you…”_

_  
Daisuke picked up on what he was saying and his smile became more serious. “Look, I don’t want me to either. But I’m going to be back.”_

_Tatsuki folded his arms as if he didn’t believe the older boy’s words. “Do you promise?”_

_To Tatsuki’s shock, Daisuke leaned down and kissed him ever so lightly on the lips, something Tatsuki had wanted for a while_ _—_ _and Daisuke knew this. “Promise.”_

That little kiss had turned into longer kisses, into love. Tatsuki curled up into a ball and cried.

 

-

After the wake, the General came into the room and sat on the bed next to Tatsuki. It was silent for what seemed to be ages, until she cleared her throat and spoke up.

 

“I am so sorry this happened to you,” she said, then placed her head in her hands, just as Daisuke had that one night. “I let everyone down, I’m so sorry.”

 

She began to cry, and Tatsuki sat up. “You didn’t,” he said. “I did. I should’ve done something to stop it. I knew about the spy for weeks.”

 

“God, I let them die…” The General whispered, then sat up abruptly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put my troubles on you.”

 

It became silent again, until Tatsuki said quietly, “He went quickly. I saw it happen. I don’t think he felt any pain.”

 

The General paused, wiping away her tears. After a while, she said, “I think it’s supposed to be a clear night tonight,” then left.

 

_You have to live,_ a voice in his head reminded him of Charlie’s words. _You would want him to continue to live if you were gone, and he would want the same._

He got out of Daisuke’s bed, grabbing his gun in his good arm. As quietly as he could, he made his way to the latched door alone, opening it to see the magnificent stars outside.  


**Author's Note:**

> * This is basically the longest fic I've ever written. I've been working on it since June, and I've worked so hard on it. I hope you enjoyed it.  
> * Thank you so much to MJ for beta-ing. The fic wouldn't be nearly as good without her excellent work.  
> * The title is from Pentatonix's "Standing By", and although it didn't inspire this fic, I feel it fits perfectly.  
> * Thank you for reading!


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